That dreaded phone call came . . .

I knew that when the phone rang at 2:45 AM on Nov. 8th that it wasn't good news. Joe's Mom called to say that his Dad had had an aneurysm and was being flown by helicopter to Mason City, Iowa an hour away. The Dr.'s told her that he may be in a coma by the time she got there. Joe went ahead to work that morning, but was on the phone most of the day getting updates, he was trying to figure out when we would need to leave to head back there . . . finally by mid morning, Joe's cousin called and told him that the Dr. said that we should get back there are fast as we could, that he could get pneumonia or go into cardiac arrest at any time. We decided to leave first thing in the morning, after getting a good night's sleep . . . knowing that we'd need it for the 24 hour drive ahead of us. Joe's sister left from Texas on Thursday evening and drove there, his brother drove to Seattle and caught a plane, they both arrived Friday night.

Thursday was also my Birthday, we just prayed that he made it through the day . . . I certainly didn't want him passing on that day. Aside from the obvious, Thursday was pretty hectic. Jakob had a Veteran's Assembly at school that my Dad was being honored at. My car was in the shop being repaired from the minor fender bender we had on Halloween. And after I called to check on the status, I was told they came across some delays and that it wouldn't be ready until Friday. I told them our circumstances and that we needed the car by that night, they pushed our car ahead and got it done, Joe and my Dad picked it up at 6:00 PM. We had my Birthday dinner with my parents, also gave Jakob his Birthday presents (his Birthday was on the 13th) and told him we'd celebrate it when we returned home. I'd been sick for the past five days and trying to get everything together, ended up just throwing everything in the car.

We left at 5:00 AM on Friday, drove as far as we could . . . I think it was about 2:30 AM that we had to stop and get some sleep. We were in the middle of South Dakota, it was pitch black and there were deer everywhere, after I hit some small animal I knew that I was done driving. We stopped to sleep for about an hour and a half, got back on the road drove for about another hour and stopped again for about an hour, we were so tired and it just wasn't safe for us to be driving in that condition. We got back on the road and continued on, arriving in Mason City at about 9:30 AM (7:30 AM PST) on Saturday Nov. 9th. Upon arriving there, we were told that he did wake up from the surgery to relieve some of the blood in his brain, he knew who Cathy was (his wife) but he thought it was 1986 and that his daughter was only 12 years old. But at least he was still communicating.

We got up to his hospital room, Joe's Mom and Aunt were sitting with him. Joe sat by his side held his hand and talked to him. Kaitie and I had a really hard time with seeing him that way, Jakob just kept his distance. But I know that after he saw him he finally was realizing what was going on . . . he said Papa Joe didn't look like he did the last time he had seen him which was in July while we were on vacation. We were told that they were going to be moving him to hospice after his meds came back from the pharmacy, while we waited for this to happen, we all went and got some lunch. This was the first time in years that Joe has been with his brother and sister at the same time. All but two (actually three, but that's a whole other story) of the nephews and nieces were together too! We all drove to the hospice house, arrived just after Joe's Dad had got there. When we first got there, everyone was at his bedside, all of his grandchildren (except the two that weren't there) stood along side his bed for a few moments before we had them all leave the room except for Kaitie she never did leave. Kaitie is the oldest grandchild, she's 12, the other ages are . . . 9, 9, 7 (Jakob turned eight two days after he passed), 7, 4, almost 3 and 4 months old.

We all sat in that room for hours, everyone saying their goodbyes. All three kids were at his bedside and Cathy finally broke down. At one moment, she went to him and said, "Joe, look . . . both your boys are here together", although he wasn't talking anymore, his eyes were open and he knew who was in that room with him. Cathy ended up having to leave for awhile. Joe's brother, Steve, his wife and Kaitie took her to Target so she could get some clothes and a toothbrush. While they were gone, Joe, I, Danniel and her husband Eric sat in the room and talked . . . they told stories of them growing up, things that their Dad used to do and were able to laugh about them. All of them were unbelievably strong under the circumstances. I think Kaitie, Eric and I took it the hardest. Death is something I've never taken very well . . . all three kids told their Dad that it was okay, he could just go to sleep now. Hearing those words just tugged at my heart and was almost too much to bare. I've known this man for 15 years and seeing him like this was so painful. It brought back so many memories of the passing of my Grandfather fifteen years earlier, my Grandpa passed away on the November 17th, 1992.

We all left that evening to get the kids dinner, Cathy stayed at his side. Sometime during the night two of his brothers drove down from Wisconsin, they said their goodbyes too. Cathy had woke up to them in the room and wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not, but they really were there. My cell phone rang at 6:16 AM on Sunday, November 11th, Veteran's Day, Danniel told us that we needed to get back to the hospice house, that phone call lasted only eight seconds. I was the first to walk into his room, Cathy looked up at me and said that he was gone. Everyone else came in within a few minutes . . . Cathy was holding his hand, she told Joe to hold it, that he was still warm. I will never forget what I saw as I walked around his bed . . . him laying there, his eyes still open. Kaitie and Jakob saw it too . . . Jakob's face showed me that he knew, might not still fully understand, but that he knew. He left the room, never came back. Kaitie sat there and cried . . . Cathy went right over to her and said, "Oh Kaitie . . . Our Kaitie with the Beautiful red hair, it's going to be alright!" Cathy told us that she sat up with Joe most of the night and talked to him about their life together, the past 39 years, and each of their grandchildren.

We all headed back to Algona, Iowa, passed the hearse that was on it's way to Mason City to pick up my father in law, later that day Steve and Danniel both headed back home. We stayed longer to help Cathy get situated. Joe and I went with her to the funeral home to take care of that, he was cremated, there was to be no services. Wednesday night we stayed with Cathy at her house in hopes of making it easier for her to stay there alone after we left. Joe's remains were brought to us that night as well, we brought him back home with us so that his ashes could be scattered where he wished. Thursday morning we started that very long drive back home to Washington State. We arrived home a little after six on Friday night . . .

I again wanted to personally Thank each and everyone of you who prayed and kept us in your thoughts these past few weeks. You all know who you are and I've never been blessed with so many good friends. Thank YOU!!!

Here's a picture I snapped just before Joe's brother and sister were about to head back home. I'll be sending this to Joe's Mom, I'm sure she'll love this.